Twibble Tuesday: Blood for the Blood God (Numbers 25:10–30:1)

I bet you thought I’d forgotten about this. It’s been a few weeks, and I’ve been lame: there’s been one thing after another for the past few weeks, and most recently I’ve actually started a new project, so check out my mechanical calculator blog over at Mathematical Cranks. But this week we have פָּרָשַׁת פינחס (“Phineas” portion), which wraps up the fallout of Israel’s latest fuckup and starts seriously discussing the ramifications of conquering a new land.

The quick snarky summary: God absolutely loves Phineas, crazy murderous lunatic that he is. The Israelites take another census, just to be sure that they’re still way, way larger than a nomadic society has a right to be, even after a couple of smitings and a plague. Land is divvied up and a faltering blow is struck for feminism. Meanwhile, God confirms that Moses will die, and tells him to groom the next leader. Finally, since we’ve had a whole, like, 3 parshot of narrative, God reverts back into ritual-law mode and describes, for no apparent reason, the correct sacrifices to make for the festivals.

Skulls for the כסא הכבוד!