Wibble Wednesday: Entirely Predictable (Exodus 35:1–40:38)

(Hmm, I thought I posted this last night, but apparently the ‘publish’ button didn’t work right…)

Well, it’s Yom Kippur, and one of the things to do on Yom Kippur is to make amends to those we have wronged this year. Well, who have I wronged? PPerhaps you, my loyal readers, whom I’ve been rather faithless to in not keeping up with the wibbles. Well, anyways, I’m trying to get back on schedule now, although Yom Kippur is a pretty poor day to snark at the religion and its holy text. On the other hand, this week’s text is pretty thin on mockability anyways, since we’re in the rather repetitive פָּרָשַׁת ויקהל (“Then he assembled” portion). It’s so thin, frankly, that I’ll elect to do the quite closely related פָּרָשַׁת פקודי (“Accounts” portion) and give you a twofer.

The quick snarky summary: The community comes out to donate to and build the Tabernacle. Exactly what we were told should be built is built. Really, there’s practically no grist for snark here. And then the spirit of God descends upon it.

Nothing spurs donations like guilt

Mibble Monday: Short Attention-Span Nation (Exodus 30:11–33:25)

Still trying to get back on schedule. Wednesday I teach, but I also have no evening obligations, so I should really be able to do this.

We return to the interesting narrative territory with פָּרָשַׁת כי תשא (“When You Take” portion), so this one’s going to be exciting and fun.

The quick snarky summary: God finally finishes telling Moses a bunch of holiness rules, and meanwhile the people have gotten bored and decided to make idolatrous statuary, apparently having completely forgotten that whole dramatic delivery of the law in thunder and lightning a month ago, which said rather pointed things about idolatry. So the people didn’t get the point at all, but fortunately Moses has a lot of extra points and scatters them liberally in necks and bellies and suchlike. In the fracas the tablets with the Ten Commandments on them get broken, so Moses goes and gets some new ones (and we learn what the Ten Commandments actually are).

To reiterate: this is the greatest generation of Israel

Sibble Saturday: More architecture and fashion porn (Exodus 27:20–30:10)

So I totally let this lapse last week. Part of it is that I’ve been busy and a bit unfocused, and part of it is that there’s really not much to this parsha. If it seems too thin on commentary, I might do another one later in the week to catch up.

So now we’re in פָּרָשַׁת תצוה (“You Shall” portion), which is pretty dull, honestly. Leviticus gets a bad rap but at least one can say something about the social significance of a holiness code and civil laws. This all is just tedious.

The quick snarky summary: Priests get to dress snazzy. The high priest gets to dress extra-snazzy. To earn these cool clothes, they have to undergo ordination and perform certain maintenance for the Tabernacle.

Seriously, it’s several pages of descriptions of clothing

Sibble Sunday: A Blueprint for Salvation (Exodus 25:1–27:19)

Running late again. I’m going to have to figure out a way to make this work with the rhythm established by my classes, now that the semester’s begun again.

This week’s reading is פָּרָשַׁת תרומה (“Gifts” portion), which is one of the first authentically boring sections of the Bible. So I might be a bit short on things to say about it. But my favorite word in the Bible happens to be in this part, so I’ll spend a little time on that. Nonetheless, there’s not much to say here because if’s frankly providing very little grist for discussion.

The quick snarky summary: The community is supposed to provide precious metals and yarn and animal hides for individual elements of the Tabernacle. There’s probably a good resource-production-and-trading board game to be built around this premise.

What, you thought I had something funny to say?